Mary J Blige

 Mary J. Blige is very animated. The indestructible R&B diva is a woman who can be called fractured and having a flashback to one of the darkest periods of her well-publicized, often turbulent career, is something she can talk about. "That day I had been up for about three days just getting high. Cocaine is a crazy drug because it takes your addiction to alcohol along for a destructive ride" a candid Mary says about a New York photo shoot for Vibe in 95' that produced the now iconic headshot of her-in red hat. red hoodie, and red lipstick-looking out from the page somberly with those signature Bambi eyes. "I was just thinking. I hope no one knows."

It was three years after the acclaim of her hip hop/ R&B debut, What's the 411? (Uptown/MCA, 1992), and the publicity machine was presenting young Mary as a changed woman. The soaring track "Be Happy," which anchored her definitive 1994 album, My Life, said as much: "How can I love somebody else / If I can't love myself enough to know / When it's time to let go?" Even the magazine cover line read "Mary J. Blige... Back From the Brink." Who was she fooling? Drama was becoming not only the focus of her songwriting, it was becoming a bankable brand.
Many did know, though, the mythology of Mary thru battles with alcohol and drugs, the abusive relationships, the canceled concerts, the "fuck you" attitude she sometimes took towards fans. Hell, the consensus among those in the know was that the Yonkers, N.Y., project chick with the big voice might not make it to see 30. Which is why a 36-year-old Mary is genuinely taken aback by the news that she's been chosen to grace the cover of VIBE's commemorative 150th issue. "I'm humbled by the whole situation because VIBE has been there for me throughout my career," she says. "They've saved my life, and they don't even know it."
This is vintage Mary J. Blige: fabulous enough to post up in an elegant suite at Los Angeles' Beverly Hills Hotel on a windy January evening, but still down to earth, strolling into an interview wearing an oversized gray turtleneck, form-fitting black jeans, and flip-flops.
"Early on, I didn't know how much of an influence I was," Mary says of that mid-'90s period when she was dubbed the Queen of Hip Hop Soul, one of the leaders of R&B's new school. "But what I've done is educate myself. I'm able to stand up straight and say. I am a proud, first & foremost a black woman, but importantly a WOMAN and this is coming from someone who's always been told that they were a dumb, n***a bitch. But right now, I'm a educated woman who wants more out of life, and you can hear it in my music."
Of course, there were a few other individuals who could have headlined this landmark issue-top hip hop capitalist Sean "Diddy" Combs, producer and kingmaker Dr. Dre, hustler/mogul Jay-Z, next-gen diva Beyoncé. But Mary is, well, Mary. During VIBE's fourteen-plus years in existence, we've watched her evolve from round-the-way girl to true music royalty who can share the stage with everyone from Jay-Z to U2. But we love Mary J. Blige because through all her public struggles and missteps, she remains a survivor. We love her because songs like "My Life," "Not Gon' Cry," "Your Child," and "No More Drama" not only comforted women through heartbreak, they also schooled men. We love Mary because after seven studio albums and 34 million records** sold worldwide, she says she ignored the advice of her record company-to drop a greatest hits album following the lackluster reception for Love & Life (2003) and instead scored her fastest-selling work to date. 2006's multi-platinum The Breakthrough. At press time, Blige was gearing up for a date with the 49th Annual Grammy Awards, where she received eight nods, the most of any artist, including one for Record of the Year. She won 3 of the Grammy Awards and delivered a live performance that to this day is praised as one of her best performance.
We love the Queen of Hip Hop Soul because she has always embodied rap music just as much as R&B, going back to the days when she rocked a baseball cap and jersey for her first video, "Real Love." We didn't bat an eye when she came out spitting on Busta Rhymes' 2006 "Touch It" remix because we remember her going toe to toe with Grand Puba on the title cut to What's the 411?
"I can sit down and cross my legs and you can still see that I'm hip hop." Mary says. But the same Mary J. Blige who has traded verses with a string of rap stars over the years-including the Notorious B.I.G, Nas, Method Man, Jay-Z, the Game and Ludacris-is also in the company of her heroes Aretha Franklin, Chaka Khan, and Anita Baker. Mary will be the first to tell you that she's not blessed with the perfect voice; most of the time, she sings as if teetering dangerously close to the edge, just a note away from falling to pieces. A scattered pain in the harmony and a range that does not match sonically with her local diva peers such as Houston and Carey, but is made up for in the raw runs in her pained vocal giving the listener unadulterated emotion. A rare balancing act.  But we love her flaws. It's pure tortured feelings, unfiltered. It's Mary.
In early January 2007, she traveled to Henley-on-Klip, South Africa, with Oprah Winfrey to celebrate the opening of the media titan's $40 million all-girl school. It was on that trip that Mary rubbed shoulders with larger-than-life figures like Sidney Poitier, Tina Turner, and Spike Lee. Yes, she knew she belonged in their esteemed company, but there was a time when the Mary J. from Schlobohm projects would've felt out of place. "The old Mary would have run, hid, and been scared," she says. "She would've caved in to the voices of the people saying, 'Oh, she's not keeping it real. She's on the Oprah show."
Sometimes Mary still hears those dissenting voices. Since the release of Love & Life, some longtime fans have shied away from the Mary who has found love with record producer Kendu Isaacs, her husband of three years**. There are fans who'd rather hear the Mary who poured out almost nothing but pain and sorrow. "What those fans don't know is that I suffered the most," she says. "When I was miserable, dying, and damn near ready to kill myself, I had access to money and fame, but it didn't make me happy. I had to risk losing those fans in order to save myself."
For Mary, it was well worth it. She credits her growing relation ship with God (she says she gave herself to God in 2001, after the death of her friend Aaliyah and 9/11) with helping her come to terms with her past. Last December, she released a greatest hits compilation. Reflections (A Retrospective), on her own terms, and she speaks optimistically about heading into the studio to record another new album. Television and movies are on tap. But as always, VIBE's definitive cover girl is taking it one day at a time.
"I can't save the world because I'm too busy trying to save myself," she says. "I'm trying to be an example for my people as well, but I want them to understand that Mary J. Blige is still trying to get it together." You gotta love her.
** Written originally in 2003, multiple Grammy awards she has earned since. 
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